We, my Mother, family and me, trusted God however and I did not fear. Dr. Kyte told me that he had to remove my knee as well as my hip-prosthesis and therefore has to stiffen my two legs permanently....I had a choice as to having a sitting or a standing position. Trustfully I asked him if he could not then please do another transplant but there was no way for my tissue has been "eaten" away as from the infection for such a long time, so, new prosthesis was no option at all. It was a very difficult decision to make, stiffened in a standing position or a sitting position and I wanted to know whether I should walk ever again and the answer was NO! That night I had struggled through with the Lord...I was confused and my faith was at zero-point...I actually prayed rather to die then facing this ordeal...I felt as if though there was no God, and should He really exist, He does not know anything about my existence. I just gave up...but still, deep inside of my, I experienced a wonderful peace that everything will eventually be o.k. although the doctor's were not so confident.
That evening I was talking to my ex-girlfriend with whom I was working things out before I got sick, just to tell her what the doctors had said and then she gave me the shocking piece of mind..."if you can walk again, then we can talk and try to work things out". I was so deeply touched by this and then I struggled with God again as never before. The next day I asked Dr. Kyte if it would not be better then to amputate my leg and if he thinks that I then could perhaps walk again one day. He replied that I might have a better chance of walking, should they amputate just above the knee, but he was still very hesitant about my surviving it all, but deep inside I knew, that this was the best option. The doctor asked me to think seriously about everything as they could not promise anything, but I was adamant at the time...as a matter of fact, I did not care much because I prayed so many times to rather die that I couldn't care less.
The doctor again asked me whether I gave it a thorough thought and I gave permission for them to go ahead. It was very traumatic for my Mom and family, but I wanted it all to be over and done with as soon as possible. I couldn't care whether I should die or not, although I knew my Mother suffered a great deal although she trusted the Lord in every way, and funny enough, deep inside of me I had peace and was nevertheless, positive. The doctor squeezed my hand before the operation and said: "Mr. Zietsman, you are a very brave young man" I told him that I'm okay and they may go ahead, I will see them when I wake up. Today I know, it was consistent prayer and the grace of God that carried me through, even when I wouldn't believe.
The operation was done and everything went well...I just had much pain, very much pain. A week later, they operated again, removing the hip-prosthesis and was then placed in traction and was full of antibiotic tubes, some to drain the infection and other to feed antibiotics. I was in hospital for about 50 days in all, of which I was strapped in traction for at least 6 weeks. During that time, 3 people died in our ward only, because of infection and septic shock, and I then realized again how great was our God that saved me through it all. My infection was healed and I went home in a wheel chair.
Once again pain struck me, so unbearable that I could never describe and I prayed again to rather die because for more than a month, I could not turn to my other side in bed, I could not even move a finger or a toe without the most terrible pain. My Mother and family had to move my leg sometimes, just a centimeter at a time because then I would scream of the pain it caused. When I think back, I still get Goosebumps all over when I'm reminded of the terrible pain. Nevertheless, many people prayed for me, even before my operation, even long before that when I first got sick, and afterwards and I know, prayer is powerful indeed.
Slowly but surely I started to feel better and could sit in my wheelchair for short periods before I had to go back to bed, which my family did...they carried me wherever and even then I sometimes cried because it hurt so much. But after a long time, I recovered to the point where I could work at my computer and even work from home to repair computers.