My fiance also told me that she knew it wasn't going to be easy, and after all, I am the one that has to live with it, that it would bring a lot of new changes in my life – all over again finding new ways of doing things etc. I told her that it was okay, that I'll handle it and that I will face these changes when I get to them. It's hard to explain to have peace and fear altogether, on the one side we knew it was the right thing to do, and on the other side it was scary thinking about it. We talked a little and agreed that it was the right thing to do – that we had to do it – after all, God has given us such a clear answer and confirmation that we could not doubt it at all. I told her that I would phone the doctor the next morning to make an appointment as soon as possible.
The next morning I phoned the doctors rooms and got an appointment for the next week Tuesday. The rest of the week and the weekend was quite a thinking process. We went to the doctor's rooms on Tuesday, kind of exited and kind of scared. Inside the doctor's room I told him that I have decided against the knee replacement and that I wanted him to rather amputate my other leg as well to give me a chance of walking again. We thought that it was going to be easy because God had confirmed to us that this is the way to go, but it wasn't that easy. The doctor went quiet for a minute or two just staring at his table – could see that he was really thinking deep. It was the same orthopedic surgeon that re-amputated my left leg after the Johannesburg mess-up, and who told me that a knee replacement was not a good idea. He looked up and asked me ‟why?" I told him "because I want to walk again!" and I added that we prayed about it and received confirmation from God – that we know it's the right thing to do.
He went quiet for a while and then said: "Francois, it's not as easy as you think, and I can't see why you would amputate a normal healthy leg to put on a prosthetic leg? It's a lifetime decision and besides, I don't think it's going to increase your chances to walk again, on the other hand you have other complications as well – because of the time spent in the wheelchair, your hip has become stiff as well. I don't think that you will walk again, maybe your hopes are too high." We told him that we prayed about it and that we had confirmation from God. He just said: "Well it doesn't help you have confirmation but I don't, I'll have to think about it – let me talk to the other doctor as well and I will let you know."
Very disappointed we came to a dead end that day – everything that we believed would go well ended up in nothing. We couldn't understand why? We had many question like ‟Why?" ‟Now what?" ‟Is that it?" ‟How could it be, we were so certain?" We were very disappointed; we had such clear confirmation and now this! "Did we hear God wrong?" "Did we only see what we wanted to see?" Many questions arose, we felt greatly disappointed. But on the other hand we still had this hope inside and we said to each other: "there must be another way, something else we could do because God so clearly showed and confirmed to us what to do." We then came to the conclusion to leave it with God, we have tried – the doctor said he will think about it and he will discuss it with the other doctor, let us not lose faith and pray that he will agree to the operation and come back to us soon. We knew that we couldn't wait too long because the longer I sit in the chair, the more stiff I will become, and secondly God clearly gave us an answer and we knew what we had to do. We decided to give the doctor a week and if we don't hear anything from him during this time, then we will start looking at alternative options.
After the whole week thinking and hoping, I didn't hear anything from the doctor – I decided to give our Pastor a call to arrange a meeting. Explaining everything from the start that has happened, the answers and confirmations we received, she told me that me walking, was a dream that God has placed in my heart, and we were following that dream. The enemy doesn't like that and he will try to put us off-track, but I should not give up hope because God will not put a dream in your heart, lead you through all these things just to bring you to a dead end. "If this doctor doesn't want to do the operation," she said, "then we'll go to the next, and the next if necessary, until we find that open door." Also she said: "maybe God doesn't want this doctor to do the operation, maybe He has another doctor in mind for you, but do not let go of your dream."
The next day we made an appointment with Dr. Heyns – he had many years experience and is probably one of the best around. Nevertheless, we went to see him as we needed an expert opinion on the matter. He was the same doctor who did my hip replacement back in 1997. He was involved when I had the meeting with the two doctors about my knee replacement, and who also told me that the knee replacement wasn't the best idea. Knowing my situation already and not needing to do a full examination, he asked what he could do for me. Kind of nervous I told him that I wanted (decided) to amputate my leg rather than going for a knee replacement because I believe that it would help me walk again, I also told him that we prayed about it and believe that it's the right thing to do as we received confirmation. He is also a true Christian – a Jesus child. He immediately told me without hesitating that he thought it was a very good idea – a fair request.